


The White Queen

by felicityollies



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Heavy Angst, Physical Abuse, Psychological Torture, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-10-06 18:50:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10342245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicityollies/pseuds/felicityollies
Summary: How do you break a man that is already so very broken? You break the love of his life, of course.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [rubs my hands together evilly] So, I might have taken this prompt to an even dark place than originally intended, but... that’s just the kind of person I am. I hope y’all enjoy it anyway. 
> 
> \- i tried not to be too graphic with the violence/torture

Felicity had been working endlessly for the last two weeks. She was using every spare minute she had to look for Oliver, which wasn’t many. Helix had her working overtime to make up for the resources she was using. It felt like she was never going to get the chance to really look for Oliver and it was driving her crazy. She knew that signing on to Helix was like signing her soul away. It might look like she was stupid for joining them, but she knew that they had what she needed to find Oliver. And that was the most important thing.

She was just so tired now. Emotionally and physically drained. The thought that she might not find him, might not to get to tell him that she loves him, it haunted her every moment. She couldn’t even remember the last time that she actually slept past a few minutes of dozing at her desk. Not that she could seriously entertain the idea of sleeping while Oliver was missing.

At nearly four in the morning, she left Helix’s home base to go back to the bunker. She hadn’t been in the loft for awhile. It didn’t feel right. It hadn’t felt right since she and Oliver had broken up, but now there was something so cold and empty about their once home. She didn’t care that the bunker was destroyed either. It did hurt to see the place trashed. It’d happened before, but this time it was by Oliver’s hands. The pain and anger he must have felt at the time was enough to make her chest ache.

As she reached her car, she fumbled with her keys. She probably shouldn’t have been driving, but she couldn’t very well sleep in the car. The keys slipped out of her hands and on to the ground.

“Fuck,” she muttered.

Before she even got the chance to bend down and pick them up, she felt a sharp pain in her back. It made her gasp and fall forward onto the car.

“What the hell…” she reached behind her and grabbed onto what felt like one of Oliver’s tranquilizers.

She ripped it from her skin with an, “Ah!”

The world started to spin. Her vision swam.

“You’re a lot tougher than you look,” a dark voice chuckled.

“Who are you?” she slurred.

She didn’t get an answer. Her body went limp and she slumped to the ground. The last thing she saw were boots coming towards her.

Cold water hit in her the face. She sputtered and gasped, her eyes fluttering open.

“I was beginning to wonder if I hit you with too high of a dosage.”

She took in a few deep breaths. Her gaze moved up to meet the cold and cruel eyes of Adrian Chase. He smirked at her. It made her want to punch him in the face. She went to move, but quickly realized that wasn’t going to be happening any time soon. Not only was her body still trying to compensate for the sedatives, but she was strapped to a metal chair. Her wrists and ankles were handcuffed to it, while an elastic strap held her middle. The room she was in felt like a cold, damp cell. Adrian leaned against a metal door, his sleeves rolled up, and his arms crossed over his chest.

“What do you want?” she hissed.

“It’s simple. I need you to scream.”

Her brow crinkled in confusion.

“Why? Where’s Oliver?”

He sighed and pushed himself forward, “I told you to scream not to ask questions. I don’t have to hurt you to get what I want, but I will.”

“Tell me where Oliver is.”

He looked into her eyes for a moment. There was nothing behind his eyes. They were empty and emotionless. How had this man managed to charm everyone around him for so long?

“He’s on the other side of this door,” he jerked his thumb back at it, “And down the hall. He’s not giving me what I want, but he will.”

“Just let us go,” she tugged at the restraints.

He pretended to think about it, “No.”

“Why? Why are you even doing this?” she snapped.

“Oliver Queen ruined my life… and now I’m going to ruin his,” his hand wrapped around her neck, pressing her into the chair hard, “I’m going to break him…. again… and again until there’s nothing left.”

He squeezed her throat tight enough to nearly cut off her air.

“And I’m going to use you to do it,” he laughed.

He laughed right in her face before finally letting go. She gasped for air, taking in as much as she could.

“I’m not going to help you do anything,” she choked out.

The smile on his face was unnerving. He didn’t seem bothered by anything. “Well, we’re going to do this the hard way then.”

He walked around her, moving to where she couldn’t see him. She heard the rattle of something metal. Slowly he brought around a cart with some sort of battery sitting atop it. Attached to the battery a long cord that looked as if it led to a cattle prod. Or at least something like it.

“Scream, Felicity,” he said as he turned the device on.

“Fuck you.”

Without any warning he pressed the tip of the prod to her skin. Electricity flowed into her. She clenched her teeth, trying not to scream. It made her fingers twitch and the metal of the handcuffs and chair burn at her skin.

He pulled it away after a minute or so. She panted heavily. Her jaw hurt and her skin was burning from the inside out.

“You know the fun part about this little toy, Felicity?” he asked, but didn’t expect an actual answer, “High voltage, low current,” his smirk became even more psychotic, “We can do this for hours without killing you.”

“Go… ahead…”

“But if you don’t do what I want,” he continued, “We just might have to go back to some old methods,” he leaned in close to her again, “Normally, the victim,” he chuckled, “Would be naked…”

He didn’t have to say anymore. She knew where that was going. Shocks to some sensitive areas or worse. Just the thought of being nude in front of him made her want to squirm, but she wasn’t going to give up. She couldn’t let him use her to get to Oliver.

“The longer this goes the more articles of clothing you’re going to lose,” he muttered, “So, let’s try this again.” He lifted her shirt just enough to press the prod into her stomach, “Scream.”

* * *

Oliver knelt on the ground. He didn’t know how long he’d been there. Time was meaningless in a place like this. He was tired and sore. His stomach aching with hunger. Open wounds on his body along with bruises. Knife cuts that would become new scars if they ever got the chance to heal. He tugged gently at the chains around his wrist, but there was nothing he could do.

Adrian had left. He wasn’t sure how long the other man had been gone. It felt like an eternity. He was just waiting. Waiting for him to return and waiting for whatever hell Chase had left in store for him. He still wasn’t sure what Adrian wanted from him. The torture he’d inflicted on him, pushing him closer to the brink of a breakdown, and what was it all for? Secrets? Revenge? Fun? He just didn’t know.

A piercing scream echoed off the walls, both startling him and waking him from his thoughts. The scream was followed by loud sobs and begging for it to end. He knew that voice. However far away and muffled, he knew that voice.

“Felicity,” he tried to say, but his throat and mouth were so dry.

He pushed himself to his feet, anger rose up inside of him along with a sick depression that settled in his chest.

“Felicity,” he called again. He pulled as hard as he could at the chains only causing them to dig further into his skin, “Felicity!”

Another scream filled the halls.

“Felicity!” he finally got his voice loud enough to be heard, “Let her go! This is about me. Not her!”

It was quiet aside from a few more quiet sobs.

“Adrian!” he screamed.

A door swung open somewhere that he could see. The cries got louder. Two pairs of footsteps. One pair and another that sounded like they were being dragged along. Adrian finally appeared. His hand wrapped in Felicity’s ponytail as he pulled her along. Her shirt was missing, her bra still in tact, but her body was covered in electrical burns. His blood boiled.

“You let her go,” he hissed.

“Oliver, I’m sorry,” she cried.

Adrian gripped onto her ponytail tighter, cutting of her words. He pushed her down to the ground inside of the cell. Without giving her a chance to do much, he cuffed her to the bars. She was just out of Oliver’s reach.

“Every time you don’t give me what I want or give me an answer I don’t like, I’m going to take it out on her.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Oliver ground out, trying to keep it together.

“That’s not how this game works,” Adrian laughed.

“You haven’t even told me what you want!” he shouted, “What do you want from me?” his voice cracked, “What do you want from me?” he repeated.

Everything felt so hopeless. He couldn’t do anything to stop this. He couldn’t save Felicity. What kind of hero was if he couldn’t do either of those things?

“Felicity,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Adrian swung his arm back and punched Oliver in the face, hitting him square in the nose. The impact made him stumble backwards.

“Oliver,” Felicity sobbed.

“Enough of that,” Adrian snapped, “I think it’s time to give you some scars to match Oliver’s,” he turned towards Felicity as he reached into his back pocket to pull out a knife.

Oliver spit blood, “Don’t touch her!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [hides under a rock]
> 
> lemme know what you think tho  
> tumblr: felicityollies  
> twitter: gothlicitys


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m pretty sure I’ve never had a fic with so many requests for a follow up so... i kind of had to do it. But I did warn y’all that my brain went to a place that it shouldn’t have.....

Felicity slowly blinked her eyes open, but her vision was blurred. At some point during Adrian’s session with her, she had passed out from the pain. His knife had been dragged across her chest, just below her breast, several times as he tried to replicate the knife wound on Oliver’s chest. She didn’t know what game he was playing and at this point she was starting to believe he really didn’t want anything from Oliver at all. Like he said to her, he just wanted to break him, repeatedly. There was nothing either of them could do. Not an answer that they could give that would stop this. She wondered if this was supposed to make her hate him. Not Adrian, but Oliver. She already hated Adrian more than she thought she could hate another human being. Maybe that was it, though. He wasn’t a human being at all; he was a twisted psychopath.

And as for Oliver, it didn’t matter what she went through. It didn’t matter the things he had done or things either of them said. She would always love him. It’s what made this twice as hard. She suffered through the pain, but as she did she knew it was hurting him too. The new wounds on his body and the defeated look on his face added to her pain as well.

She moved a little, irritating the wound across her ribs and eliciting a whimper. Her eyes screwed shut and she sucked in deep breaths.

“Felicity?” Oliver’s voice was hoarse.

“Oliver,” she whispered.

“Felicity, I’m so sorry.”

She heard the chains rattle.

“Stop,” she swallowed thickly as she pushed herself up.

She couldn’t stop the soft cry that fell from her lips as she moved. It didn’t help that her hands were still above her head. She opened her eyes again, letting them adjust this time. Her gaze moved down to her chest and she cringed. Looking at it seemed to make it hurt more. She could see the open wound and the blood that ran down her stomach.

“Oh god,” she felt a disgusting nausea wash over her.

Her stomach churned, but she tried to swallow it back. There wasn’t anything in her stomach, but bile anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Oliver repeated.

By some miracle she managed not to puke. She sighed and looked towards Oliver. Her vision was still blurry. It took her a moment to realize that her glasses were no longer on her face.

“Please stop,” she whispered.

“It’s my fault.”

“It’s not,” her voice raised, “It’s his. He is doing this.”

Oliver shook his head, “Why won’t you admit it?”

“I’m not going to blame you for something a psychopath is doing.”

“But-”

“God dammit, Oliver,” she hissed, “I love you and I don’t want to spend these moments arguing with you.”

He snapped his mouth shut. With a sigh, she closed her eyes again and leaned her head back against the bar behind her. She needed to stand, needed to eat, and get some water. Her entire body ached from both the knife wound and electrocution. The ache in her arms made her tug at the restraints. If they didn’t move soon, they were going to go numb.

“You still love me?” he asked quietly.

“I never stopped,” she looked to him.

The sound of something scraping across the floor behind her startled her, “Well isn’t that sweet,” Adrian scoffed.

He reached through the bars and grabbed onto her ponytail, pulling her to her feet.

“Stop!” Oliver growled, getting to his feet as well.

“I haven’t even started,” Adrian tutted.

He kept a tight hold on her hair, tugging her backwards against the metal. She was determined not to make a sound. Not to whimper or cry and give him the satisfaction yet again.

“He is right you know,” he whispered close to her ear. The feeling of his warm breath on her skin made her want to squirm away, but there was no place to go. “This is his fault.”

“Leave her alone,” Oliver strained against the chains.

He ignored him and continued, “If it wasn’t for his itchy trigger finger we might not even be here right now.”

“Shut up,” she choked out.

He lifted her higher, making her stand on her tiptoes, “How can you still love him? He lies to you. He killed your boyfriend.”

“That was your fault,” she tried to keep her voice steady, but failed.

“It’s not. He should have known it wasn’t going to be that easy,” he laughed.

Adrian let go of her hair, causing her to stumble a little. She stood on shaky legs. Her eyes on Oliver. Even though she could only see a blurry outline of the man, she knew he was just as scared as she was.

“Just let her go,” Oliver pleaded.

“Eventually,” Adrian stayed behind her.

She swallowed thickly.

“I think she needs a little more incentive,” she felt a cold blade press into her back, “I’m not doing my job if she doesn’t hate you yet,” he laughed.

“Nothing you could do will ever make me hate Oliver. You’re the only person here that deserves my hatred.”

He pressed the tip of the knife into her back, not hard enough to pierce the skin, but enough to make it clear that’s what was coming next.

“Stop!” Oliver growled, tugging on the restraints again.

She closed her eyes tightly and willed Adrian to stop. It was very obvious that he wanted to take her from Oliver. As much as they had been through it wasn’t that easy. The only way she was going to let go of her feelings for Oliver was in death. And she had a feeling that if he didn’t get what he wanted that’s where this was going to go.

“I still haven’t started,” she could hear the smirk in his voice, “What do you say to a little game of find the biostimulant,” he pressed the knife to various places along her spine, “I read the medical report, but I just can’t remember which vertebrae it’s in.”

She couldn’t stop herself from letting out a sob. Of all the things she could have imagined him doing, this was not one of them.

“You’re going to kill her!” Oliver screamed, “Let her go. Just leave her alone.”

“I might,” he pressed the knife into the middle of her back, making her yelp. He still didn’t draw blood; he was taunting her and just making it that much worse. “But then again maybe her spinal cord will stay intact as I dig around in here.”

“Please,” she whimpered.

His hand wrapped around her throat, pulling her hard against the bars, “Please, what?” he whispered in her ear.

“Please, stop… for the love of god,” she cried.

“There is no god,” he hissed, squeezing her throat tighter.

“Adrian!” Oliver continued to yell.

She gasped, feeling the knife finally go in. He pulled it out just as quickly as it went in. The sound of Oliver’s screaming and the rattle of chains slowly faded away. Warm blood ran down her back.

“Just remember, this is all because of him,” he breath fanned out across her neck.

He let her go. She slid down to the floor again. Her body shaking as it went into shock yet again. He hadn’t hit her spine or any major organs; he was keeping her alive to suffer in front of Oliver. She leaned into the bars, sobbing quietly.

* * *

“I’m going to kill you,” Oliver said for the millionth time.

“Every time you say that it just gets more amusing,” Adrian bent down behind Felicity.

“Get the hell away from her,” he pulled hard, trying desperately to break the chains. The metal continued to dig deep into his skin, cutting up his wrists.

He was only wearing himself out. His body too weak to take the strain, but he couldn’t stop himself. He needed to get out. Not for him, but for Felicity. She didn’t deserve this. She never deserved anything that happened to her because of him.

Being trapped in the foundry, becoming bait for Slade, being locked up and left to die in Nanda Parbat, the shooting with Darhk, the death of Billy, and god everything he had done himself; the lies and secrets. Everything. How could she still be holding on to so much love for him? He didn’t understand.

Now as she sat there on the floor, crying, wounded, and scared he felt like everything inside of him was dying. He wanted to save her. Keep her from this pain.

“Let her go,” he repeated, his voice cracking again.

Adrian touched Felicity’s cheek, making her shudder, “I will,” he said, “I think it’s about time for another solo session.”

“No! No…. let her leave. Send her home! Please,” he fell to his knees, “Please she doesn't’ deserve this.”

“Does anyone deserve anything that comes by being involved with you?” he looked to him, “You’re not a hero, Oliver, you’re an angel of death. Everyone who has the misfortune of crossing your path dies. It’s only a matter of time before the same happens to her… to John…to William…”

He felt his stomach churn, “Stop!”

“I might just need to take one from you,” he chuckled, “I did say you’re only one loss away from being destroyed. It doesn’t have to be her,” he put his hand on her head and smoothed it over her hair.

She whimpered loudly.

“Enough,” he panted, “You don’t have to do any of this.”

Adrian stood, “But where’s the fun in that?” he pocketed his bloody knife and started towards the door again, “I’ll be back soon.”

“Fuck you,” he spat.

Adrian stopped, “Now that’s no way to speak to someone who’s left your little lady alive.”

He ground his teeth.

“You should be grateful.”

Of course he was grateful for Felicity being alive, but what the hell did Adrian want him to say? What did he want from him?’

“Hmmm,” Adrian hummed.

He opened the cell and walked towards Felicity. His heart hammered in his chest.

“What are you doing?”

Adrian said nothing as he undid the cuffs and tugged her to her feet. He reattached the cuffs and pulled her closer. She sobbed and pushed against him with the little energy she had.

“Leave her alone, god dammit!”

He ignored him and tugged Felicity out of the cell, “If you don’t walk, I’ll carry you.”

She cried, stumbling towards the door.

Oliver couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t get out of the shackles, all he could do was listen to her cries get fainter and fainter.

“Felicity!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As an FYI: There will **_not_** be any rape/sexual assault in this story. It might be a twisted story but I’m not going there. Not today.
> 
> I hope this quells some worries. 
> 
> Enjoy the story and as always let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m.... so sorry.... but this is what happens when i’m trapped in a car for 9 hours and spend the entire time thinking about my fics

Oliver knelt there helplessly. It was quiet. The only thing he could hear was his own ragged breathing. Time seemed to drag on endlessly. He couldn't tell if it had only been a handful of minutes or an hour. All he knew was that Adrian had Felicity and it was too fucking quiet. His mind turned to the worst possible scenarios. Adrian touching hurt, violating her. She had already been missing her shirt so god knows what he had done to her before dragging her out. She was out of his view again and it only put him further on edge. That was the point, though wasn't it? Adrian wanted to drive him crazy with fear.

Well, it was working.

He didn't want it to work, but dammit he could only think about her. What he was doing to her. He still heard nothing, but she could have been gagged. Oh god. What hell was he unleashing? 

“Adrian!” he shouted. He coughed, his mouth and throat were so dry, “Adrian, let her go! She doesn't deserve this!” 

He was met with more silence. Clenching his fists and slamming them against his knees, he let out a frustrated scream. He didn’t know how long he sat there waiting. Waiting in complete silence. Waiting for any sign of life in the other rooms. Hours maybe.

A loud scream finally broke through, echoing off the walls and startling him to his feet. He pulled on the restraints as hard as he could, making his wrists bleed.

“Adrian!” he rasped out.

Felicity screamed again. Screamed in both fear and pain. God what was he doing to her.

“Please!” she begged, but the word became a strangled scream mixed with a sob.

It kept going on like this. Her screams and cries, her begging, and pleading for her own life. He couldn’t do anything, but listen to her and beg for Adrian to release her from this hell. Every scream made chest ache and his skin itch. He needed to be with her, be at her side, needed to see her and make sure she was okay. Oliver didn’t deserve to be anywhere near her, not after this. He would never be able to forgive himself for letting this happen to her.

She told him a hundred times that she didn’t need his protection, but he didn’t care. He loved her more than anything and it was his job to keep her safe from psychos like Adrian. And he failed. He failed Felicity.

She was the most amazing person he had ever known. So strong, so sweet, so beautiful, and now she was here in this dungeon with him, screaming and sobbing.

“Stop!” he shouted, trying to pull his hand out of the shackles.

“No… no!” she screamed.

Her voice became muffled, but he could hear her struggling.

“I’m going to kill you!” Oliver screamed, “Let her go!”

The muffled shouting and struggling continued for several minutes until she started to quiet down. He stood there, leaning as far forward as the restraints would allow. His heart pounding in his chest. A gunshot rang out. His body jolted violently at the sound. Silence fell over the cell again. Not a sniffle. Not a sob or a cry. No breathing or gasps. Nothing. Was she… did he really…

“No,” he choked out, falling to his knees again, “Felicity.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. Something inside of him broke. She didn’t deserve this. God what kind of twisted world did he drag her into. She could have had a long life without him, but he was fucking selfish.

Now she was gone.

He didn’t have enough energy to keep himself up. Weak from the weeks he had been there, exhausted in every way imaginable, and now a sadness that he had only felt a few times in his life was sinking into his chest. It wrapped around his heart, squeezing it until he thought it might break in half. But death wouldn’t come for him. It only taunted and took every one else around him.

He laid on his back, tears rolling down his temples. His lungs shuddered inside of him, searching for air that couldn’t reach him.

“Felicity,” he whimpered.

He was left there alone for another hour. Not that he could tell how long it was. Nor did he care. He didn’t give a damn about anything anymore.

“If it’s any consolation, she went down fighting.”

He didn’t even turn to look at Adrian.

“Sorry about the wait,” he continued, “There was a lot of blood to clean up.”

“Fuck you,” he whispered.

“What was that?” Adrian walked into the cell and leaned over him.

“Fuck. And. You,” he spat.

He was met with a swift kick to the side, A groan fell from his lips, but he didn’t move. Didn’t try to beg him to stop. He deserved it. Oliver hated Adrian, but he wasn’t going to fight back. There was nothing for him to fight for. He let the love of his life spend her last few days being tortured to death. A bright soul, torn down, broken, and treated like a game of operation.

Adrian kicked him in the ribs three more times, “Maybe you’ll finally talk,” he muttered.

“You haven’t even told me what you want from me,” he kept his gaze on the ceiling above him.

The other man huffed, “I didn’t think you were ready to know…. maybe you still aren’t.”

Oliver swallowed thickly.

Adrian pulled back, rolling up his sleeves, “You know she begged me to spare you?” he asked, “Let him live. Please,” he imitated Felicity’s voice, “He’s a good man,” he scoffed, “That was before I went digging for treasure. She changed her tune quickly.”

His body shook, “Why?”

“Why?” Adrian asked, “Why? Because you took from me and now I’m taking from you.”

“I’m s-sorry,” he sputtered finally looking up into Adrian’s cold eyes.

“I believe you, Oliver. I really do,” he leaned down close, “But the thing is… i just don’t care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think! (comments and messages feed the starving muse)
> 
> tumblr: felicityollies  
> twitter: gothlicitys


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well.... i decided to be nice and not make y’all wait too long, but i do have to say i intended this to be longer, but then i thought where i stopped was a good place so...
> 
> p.s - i also think there only may be one or two chapters left?

Adrian gripped onto her hair, throwing her into the nearest room. She stumbled forward, slamming into a metal table. With a cough, she gripped onto the sides of the table.

“What do you want?” she choked out.

“Did you think he was kidding when I said I wanted to find that biochip?” he asked.

Her lip trembled.

“Now be quiet,” he came up behind her, shoving a rag into her mouth, gagging and thoroughly silencing her.

She heard Oliver shouting for Adrian to let her go, but he didn’t make a sound. His hand stayed over her mouth even though she couldn’t have spoken if she tried. Her back was pressed to his chest. It made her squeamish just to be that close to him. She shifted only moving slightly when he tightened his grip on her.

“If you move again, Ms. Smoak, I’ll snap your pretty neck,” he hissed into her ear, “Do we understand each other?”

She sniffled behind his hand and gave a soft nod. Oliver kept shouting, but still Adrian did nothing. It wasn’t until it was quiet again that he started to pull the gag out of her mouth. He pushed her forward against the table again. She was bent over the cold thing.

“Don’t move,” he whispered just before she felt the cold steel of a blade on her skin.

She screamed as he dragged it down her back. He did this several times. Each cut eliciting another scream.

“Please!” she begged.

“Turn around, Felicity,” he commanded.

She cried, her fingers trembling, too scared to move, but terrified not to listen.

“Turn around,” he repeated.

She felt the tip of his knife near her spine, a subtle threat if she didn’t listen, “No...no…” she cried as she slowly rolled over.

Her eyes couldn’t meet his. Never in her life had she been so scared. Her back was cut open, her chest sliced, and her entire body going into shock again. What more could he do to her? He answered the question by gripping onto her neck and dragged her up the table. Evelyn, who she hadn’t even noticed until that point, came up behind her and put her wrists in cuffs. Adrian shoved the gag back into her mouth and held his hand out to Evelyn. She reached behind her and whipped out a gun.

Felicity shook her head, sobbing behind her gag.

“Don’t make a sound,” he whispered so quietly it was barely audible.

He fired the gun into the wall behind her. Everything was completely silent for a moment before Oliver shouted. Oh god, what was Chase doing to them? How could he make Oliver suffer like this? How could he do this to her?

Adrian put the gun in the back of his slacks, “If she moves, shoot her,” he whispered.

Evelyn nodded, moving to get her bow and quiver from the corner of the room. Had she been here the whole time? Just waiting. The younger woman nocked an arrow and pointed it directly at her. She lay there with her cuffed hands in front of her. Her bloody back pressed to the cold table. And ears on Oliver. She sniffled again, flicking her gaze onto Evelyn for just a moment. This young woman, the one they took in, the one she helped study for her SAT’s, and spent nights talking to. She and Oliver had done so much for Evelyn and now she was betraying them in the worst way possible.

Oliver and Adrian’s voices echoed off the walls. She could hear how broken he was. How defeated he felt. Those little changes in Oliver’s voice made her heart ache. She wanted to take out the gag, to scream that she was okay, and to not give into him. But to make any movement meant an arrow through the… who knows what.

Tears rolled down her temples when she heard Oliver apologize to Adrian.

It was quiet for a few more moments. She didn’t know what was happening to Oliver now. It wasn’t until she heard a shout that she knew Adrian was abusing him again.

“C-can I at least see her body?” he choked out.

“Only after you answer my question.”

“What question!?” Oliver screamed, choking on a sob, “You won’t tell me what you want! I don’t know what you want!”

They just kept getting louder.

“Why do you do it? Why do you kill? You don’t have to.”

Oliver said something that she couldn’t quite here.

“What was that?” Adrian asked.

“I wanted to! And I liked it!” Oliver screamed.

Adrian laughed, low and dark. Her eyes went a little wide at his confession. She knew that when Oliver had first started his crusade he was a in a dark place, but she had no idea it ran that deep. That darkness had such a grip on him.

She swallowed as she listened to footsteps coming closer, but he kept going, walking right past the door. What the hell was he doing now?

“You said I could see her!” Oliver cried, “You said I could see her,” he repeated, quieter.

It was almost an hour before Adrian reappeared. At least she was almost positive it had been an hour. She tried to count the minutes as they went by, but laying there in the quiet, in pain, it made it difficult to keep her thoughts straight. When he came back in he yanked her forward by the handcuffs. She slid off the table, trying to stand straight. The movement caused the skin at her back to pull. She cried behind the gag again. He removed the gag and the handcuffs, but took her by the hair again. Adrian walked her to the cell and threw her to the ground in front of Oliver.

“Now she really does know the monster you are,” he said as Oliver pushed himself up, “Heard every word. Didn’t you Ms. Smoak?”

She didn’t say anything.

“Ms. Smoak,” he snapped, “I think I’ve shown you mercy so far, but that can change.”

“I h-heard everything,” she stared at the floor.

“He’s a monster isn’t he? Sick and twisted. A murder who enjoys the kill.”

She didn’t want to say it, but she knew that’s what he was waiting for. “Y-yes,” she choked out.

Adrian laughed again. The sound making her skin crawl. There was a rattle of metal and something hitting the ground outside the cell, but she didn’t move. His footsteps moved down the hall until they disappeared.

“Felicity….” Oliver whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

She finally tilted her head up to see his face. His eyes were as puffy as hers and his cheeks equally tear stained.

“Oliver,” she cried, reaching towards him.

He seemed hesitant to touch her now. She could see it in his eyes. He really did think he was that monster Adrian described. But she didn’t see him that way. No matter what, she would always love him.

“Please,” she sobbed.

He swallowed and moved forward, his arms went up and over her because the shackles were still in the way. She just needed this for a moment. A simple moment of comfort. She had only been there for a couple of days and she had no idea how Oliver had lasted over a week alone.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated over and over again.

She closed her eyes, resting her head against his chest, ignoring the blood and grime. “Stop,” she sniffled, “Please.”

He gave his own quiet sniffle, “We need to get out of here.”

She nodded and they pulled apart. Her body was weak and tired, but she managed to pull herself to her feet. The clang had been the sound of keys dropping to the floor. This was too easy. Why was he letting them go? After all of this, he just threw them the keys and walked out. She couldn’t waste anymore time questioning the reasoning of a psychopath. With as much haste as she could muster, she got back to Oliver and unlocked his cuffs. He pushed himself up on his feet, but stumbled, she did her best to help him stand, but they were both so worn down.

Things became a little hazy after they got out of the building. She leaned into him, cold and shivering. Her vision blurring.

“Oliver, I’m tired,” she whispered.

“Hey, stay with me,” he pleaded, “Stay with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!
> 
> tumblr: felicityollies  
> twitter: gothlicitys


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> straight up i got so sad writing this lmao, but it’s cool. i’m fine.

Oliver stared at the ceiling as he lay in a hospital bed. Every part of his body hurt, but he didn’t really care about the outward wounds. His heart hurt the most. The depression radiated through his chest. It ached in the most painful way. He didn’t feel like he even deserved to be in that hospital bed, but he didn’t have much of a choice. When Felicity lost consciousness, he got them to the closest hospital. Walking into an ER looking the way he did, meant that he wasn’t able to simply leave her and run off.

He didn’t deserve to be patched up and cared for, which is why he turned down any kind of pain killer. Didn’t deserve to be in the same room as Felicity right now. He was a monster and now she knew. She’d seen him during the dark days and brought so much light into his life. But there was no way for her to know the extent of his darkness. How deeply it ran through him. As much as he wanted to pretend the monster inside was some separate being, it wasn’t. He was the monster and the monster was him.

Oliver should have done what he planned to months ago. Cut everyone off. They wanted to be there for him after he killed Billy, but he wasn’t worthy of their love or their help.

Beside him, Felicity started to stir. Her heart monitor beeped faster.

“Where am I?” she sounded both groggy and panicked, “Where’s Chase, Oh god….”

“Felicity,” he said softly, “You’re in a hospital.”

She turned her head, blinking a couple of times, “Oliver?”

“It’s me,” he sighed.

She was still without her glasses and it was probably that much more disorienting. Before either of them could say anything else, the doctor and nurse came in to check on her. He stayed quiet, listening to them ask her a couple of questions. Mostly trying to gauge the damage that she had gone through.

The nurse came over to double check on him, but he shook his head, “You don’t have to do this,” he mumbled.

She sighed at him like she had done several times in the last few hours, “You’re under my care, Mr. Queen, and I can’t just ignore you.”

He returned her sigh and let her poke and prod at him and check his vitals.

“You’re doing well for someone who has sustained this much damage,” she muttered.

He didn’t actually know if she was talking to him or if she was just speaking in general. It didn’t matter. Soon she and the doctor were gone, leaving him alone with Felicity again. They were quiet for a several moments. He listened to her heart rate steady, wondering if she had been having a nightmare.

She shifted in the bed, turning to look at him.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he mumbled, refusing to look her way this time.

“Oliver,” she coughed, “I didn’t mean those things I said.”

“You should have.”

“No,” she raised her voice, but it caused her throat to strain and another cough to overtake her.

He was so scared for her. The untreated injuries, dehydration, and shock had been so much for her to handle. He was worried that she was getting an infection. God, if she got sick after all of this, he didn’t know how he would be able to look at himself in the mirror.

“I can’t even begin to understand the things that happened to you those five years or what pushed you to feel that way, but I do know three things. You’re not a monster… and I love you for who you are, Oliver Queen. I always will.” 

He closed his eyes and swallowed thickly, wishing she wouldn’t say things like that. With a shaky breath he asked, “And the third thing?”

“I’m going to enjoy killing that son of a bitch.”

He whipped his head to the side a little faster than he should have, but ignored the throbbing in his head, “Felicity…”

* * *

Felicity wrapped an arm around her waist as she tried to sit up more. She had never been in so much pain in her entire life. The only saving grace was that she could feel everything. She had really thought that Adrian was going to go right for the base of her spine.

“I can’t let you do that,” he said.

“It’s not your choice,” she muttered.

Oliver pushed himself up too, “Once you go that dark…. you can’t come back from it.”

“Bullshit,” she hissed, “We’ve all done bad things, but that doesn’t make us bad people. We have to do what we need to. And Adrian needs to die.”

“Not by your hands,” he said sternly.

“Why,” her voice cracked.

“You’re too good of a person. I can’t…. You shouldn’t have blood on your hands.”

“What about Havenrock? What about those people I couldn’t save in the Undertaking? Their blood is already on my hands,” her chest tightened and her eyes burned with tears, threatening to spill down her cheeks.

“That wasn’t your fault,” he whispered, “That was Darhk and Merlyn.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” she sniffed, willing herself not to cry, “You and John keep telling me that I’m some good person that doesn’t do the same kind of bad things that you two do, but what if I don’t want to be a good person. What if I want to give that sick bastard what he deserves?”

“Felicity,” he said quietly.

“Why?” she demanded. Closing her eyes, she started coughing again.

“Because I love you too much to see you go through that,” his voice was barely above a whisper, “You’re the strongest person I know, but this is different. Taking someone’s life is a whole other ball game. And I don’t want to see you try to go up against him and lose.”

She leaned back into the bed, chest rising up and down with heavy breaths. Part of her knew that she wasn’t thinking rationally. What business did she have going up against Adrian Chase? She wanted revenge, but she wasn’t the fighter that the rest of the team were. Besides, he had already kicked all their asses into the ground.

“We have to find another way.”

She peered over at him, wanting to be mad at him, but it was hard when he was using her own words against her.

Without saying another word, she slid from the bed and gripped onto her IV stand.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she stood on shaky legs and walked over to his bed. He didn’t question her again and simply moved out of her way. She climbed in, getting close to him.

“I want him dead, Oliver,” she said quietly as she rest her head against his chest, away from his wounds, but he still tensed anyway. She realized for the first time since she’d seen him, just how skinny he had gotten in the last two weeks. Her arm wrapped around him, she could feel just how tortured he’d been. She hadn’t noticed sooner because of the state of mind she was in.

“I need him gone. What he did to us…” Her head was tilted up, so she could see his face, his cheekbones more pronounced and his eyes sunken in. The dark circles under his eyes making it look that much worse.

“I know,” he said.

“Every time I close my eyes I see his face,” she finally let her tears spill, “Or feel his hands on me,” she sobbed into his hospital gown, “I can’t even imagine what he did to you….”

* * *

Oliver didn’t want her this close to him. He didn’t want her to seek comfort in his arms. At least he told himself he couldn’t and shouldn’t want it. But it was hard to say no to her, especially in this state. She was just as broken as he was. It was obvious that they needed to take down Prometheus, but how the fuck were they supposed to do that? He was so strong and deadly. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to let Felicity be the one to pull the trigger.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“This is not your fault,” she tilted her head up to look into his eyes.

So sad. So blue.

“If I can’t blame myself for Havenrock then you can’t blame yourself for this,” her voice was shaky as she tried to fight of more tears, “He’s just a sick…. monster,” she buried her face in his chest again, “He’s the monster not you.”

What she didn’t know, was that Adrian had tried to pound it into his head that they were two sides of the same coin. That he was just as much of a sick person as Adrian was. It was hard not to believe him. Everything he touched, everything he loved, always ended up hurt or dead. Felicity was a prime example.

Could they destroy Adrian? Would he be able to leave afterwards? All he wanted was for Felicity to live a life of peace. He wanted all of his friends and family to. But he also knew them very well. They weren’t going to let go so easily. The only way he could leave and make sure no one followed, was to leave permanently. It was the only ending he truly deserved. He knew he should have died on that boat years ago. If he had, then Felicity wouldn’t be in this situation. Countless people wouldn’t be dead; Tommy, his mother, and Laurel.

It was a scary thought. To finally be so sure he could go through with it. The idea had gone through his head a few times in the last decade, but he’d never gone all the way.

“What are you thinking about?” Felicity asked as if she knew.

“Nothing,” he said quietly.

“Oliver,” she sniffled again, “Don’t do this…. don’t push me out. Not now.”

He kept his eyes off her, unwilling to look her in the eyes. If he did, he knew he would fall apart. Swallowing thickly, he shook his head, “Just get some rest, please.”

“But….”

He didn’t let her finish, “Please.”

* * *

Felicity swallowed back her complaints and wrapped her arm around him tighter. There was something wrong. Obviously there was. He had been through two weeks of hell before she’d been taken. She had no idea what he went through, but if it was anything like what Adrian did to her over the course of a couple days, then she knew there was a lot weighing on him. She was scared that he was going to close himself off to everyone else again. It was the last thing he should do right now. Neither of them had the energy to argue about it right now. She closed her eyes and hoped that he would talk to her. Or at least talk to someone.

The exhaustion she felt overtook her once again. She slowly drifted into a deep sleep. A sleep that was plagued by nightmares. She could hear Adrian’s laugh, echoing in her head. His hands on her body, bruising her.

_“I told you, you would lose more clothing if you didn’t give me what I wanted,” he remarked, holding up the electronic rod towards her now bare legs._

__

“Please,” she begged, “Please don’t.”

A scream ripped from her throat.

“Felicity,” Oliver was shaking her, “Felicity, wake up.”

She shot forward, tugging at her IV and nearly ripping it from her arm. “Ow,” she whined.

Her heart monitor was going off the charts, causing the nurses to run in again. They tried to get her out of Oliver’s bed, but she refused.

“Don’t, I need to be over here,” she sobbed.

“Leave her be,” Oliver said.

The nurses relented and checked her over quickly, making sure her IV was still in properly. When they were gone, Oliver’s arm wrapped around her tightly.

“It was just a nightmare,” he whispered.

“It felt so real,” she cried as she lie against his chest again.

“I know,” he let out a shaky breath.

She swallowed thickly, “I don’t want to go back to sleep.”

“You need the rest,” he said, “I know it’s scary, but you need to sleep.”

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered suddenly.

“Wh-what?”

“Please don’t shut me out and don’t leave me, I need you.”

“I….” he started to say.

“Please.”

“I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

He knew very well that, that was not what she meant, but she wasn’t going to push it again. Not now.

* * *

Oliver couldn’t make those promises, so he wasn’t going to. She didn’t need him; she needed someone that could actually help her and bring her happiness. Not misery.

For now he could give her this. Though, he hoped she would actually get some sleep. He’d barely gotten any of his own, but he was used to not sleeping. He let himself doze while she did, but the moment she started to move _and then scream_ , he was wide awake again. That sound would haunt him forever. It was the worst thing he had ever heard. And it was his fault that she went through that torture. That just made it all so much worse.

Her body was shaking. She was trying to relax, but it wasn’t happening.

“I love you,” he whispered.

He still wouldn’t look directly at her.

“I love you too,” she sniffled, “I don’t want to lose you.”

He flinched slightly, “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t say anything after that. He sighed and looked up towards the T.V that was playing the news quietly. Of course they were the biggest news in the state right now.

_Mayor Queen and Ex-fiancee Felicity Smoak found several miles outside of Star City…._

At least their friends would know where they are. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Felicity’s breath was steady again, meaning she’d fallen asleep. Oliver wasn’t a religious man, but he prayed to whoever was out there to let her sleep peacefully. He let himself drift in and out of sleep, but didn’t get any real rest. His thoughts continued to race. He worried about taking out Adrian. Worried about what would happen after.

* * *

They were in the hospital for several days. Felicity stayed by his side the entire time. She had to stay a couple days longer than him while they made sure her cough wasn’t anything serious. She cried when they told him he needed to go home. It was impossible for anyone to say no to her. She was scared and traumatized; she couldn’t be alone.

John and the rest of the team visited every day until both of them could leave. They all offered to take time to spend the night with either of them. He declined the need for anyone to stay with him.

“Will you spend one more night with me?” she asked him.

He had a feeling it wouldn’t just be one more. Digg drove him to the loft and watched them walk up the steps.

“I’m so happy to be ho-” she started to say, but stopped as she neared the dining room table.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly ready to fight again.

Then he saw them.

Her glasses, the ones that she wore when she was taken, were sitting on top of her table as if she had left them there.

“Oliver,” her voice cracked, “He was here.”

She turned and wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m not going to let him touch you again, I promise,” he held her tight.

“I can’t stay here,” she sniffled, “I can’t… I can’t.”

“It’s okay, let's grab your glasses and get out of here.”

She nodded and reached out to grab them. There was a moment of hesitation, but he understood. Adrian had touched them and now they were somehow tainted.

“I… I have extras in my room,” she mumbled.

He followed her, she grabbed them, and then made their way out of the apartment. They could get clothes later or send someone in to get them. He didn’t care. All he wanted was to get Felicity to safety. The days they had spent together made him realize how hard it actually would be to leave her. 

It didn’t help that she seemed to know something was wrong and she kept reminding him how much she loved him.

And god he loved her more than anything else, but he was also conflicted.

She was utterly broken because of him and he still didn’t deserve to be with her. As much as she argued and wanted him to be by her side, he wasn’t worthy. He was so depressed his entire body ached and it felt like the only way for all of this to end was for him to die. How could he stay here when he was causing so much pain? How could he leave when every time Felicity looked him in the eyes, he could see her pleading for him to stay?

What was he supposed to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!
> 
> tumblr: felicityollies  
> twitter: gothlicitys


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i bet y’all thought i gave up on this.... well i almost did, but i finally figured out where I wanted to go with this.

Felicity leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She was trying to relax or at least get into a head space where she would be able to work. It seemed to be an impossible task. She wanted to find Adrian, but she couldn’t focus. Every noise she heard, every small movement out of the corner of her eye made her twitch and panic. She couldn’t stop herself from getting startled. Even her friends put her on edge.

A hand came down against her shoulder. It was a gentle touch, but she flinched away.

“It’s just me,” Diggle said.

“Sorry, John,” she sighed and ran shaky fingers through her hair.

It had only been a day since she left the hospital. She and Oliver were staying at a hotel, but it didn’t feel safe. The bunker, which she knew was one of the safest places in the city, didn’t comfort her.

“You shouldn’t be here,” John said quietly, “You and Oliver have been through too much. You need some rest.”

“I need to find Chase,” she said.

“You’re not going to find him like this,” he kept his voice calm, “We’re all worried about you.”

She glanced to the side where Rene and Dinah were sitting.

“Yeah, Blondie,” Rene said, “You should be in bed.”

Dinah nodded, “We might not be as good as you,” she smiled, gesturing towards the computers, “But we can work on something to find Chase.”

Felicity looked away from them and stared down at her hands. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t work, and she knew they were right. It was just hard being cooped up in the hotel room when she felt like Adrian could appear at any moment.

“Okay, I’ll leave when Oliver gets back,” she said softly, “But can I ask you all something?” she looked around at them and received nods from all three, “Will one of you teach me out to shoot a gun?”

* * *

By the time Oliver was in the building and on his way down to the bunker, she was slipping a revolver into her purse. She wasn’t an expert by any means, but she knew enough from John, Rene, and Dinah that she could at least protect herself. Frankly, she hated guns for a multitude of reasons, but she needed something to at least help her feel somewhat safe. She couldn’t get that carrying a knife or blunt object.

“How was the meeting at city hall?” she asked.

Oliver sighed, “It could have been better…. They’re not going to require me to come in anytime soon, but I don’t want to abandon everyone,” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I know how you feel,” she glanced at the rest of their team.

“Everyone just wants the best for you both,” Diggle said.

She nodded slowly.

“Go. Rest. We’ll let you know if we find anything,” John waved them out.

They left the bunker and leaned against the walls of the elevator. A silence settled between them, making her nervous. She knew something horrible was going on inside his head, but he wouldn’t talk to her. The last thing she wanted was for him to do something drastic. She didn’t know if she would survive if he his mind was where she thought it was.

The drive to the hotel was equally quiet. She couldn’t take it anymore; she barely made it up to the room with him before letting it out.

“God dammit, Oliver,” her voice raised.

He gave her a confused look.

“Don’t let him get into your head.”

“I’m-”

“And don’t lie to me. I know you. I know where your head goes when you’re hurting.”

He turned away from her.

“Talk to me please.”

“You don’t understand,” he started slowly, “All of this is my fault… if I…. if I wasn’t here maybe all of this would stop.”

“No,” she took a couple steps forward, “This isn’t your fault. It’s his… he’s insane and he’s trying to make you think you’re something you’re not.”

“Or I’m not the man you think I am.”

“Bullshit. I don’t care what he said. I don’t care what you said. Do you think I would have fallen in love with you if I didn’t know exactly what kind of man you are?”

He glanced her way.

“We can’t do this without you…. I can’t do this without you,” tears prickled at the corners of her eyes, “I love you so much,” her voice cracked, “And I won’t let him take you away from me.”

His own eyes became glassy.

She sat down on their bed and waited for him to join her. He sat and leaned in to rest his head against her chest. She wrapped her arms around him as he started to cry; she couldn’t stop the tears that slipped down her cheeks.

“Don’t leave me, don’t leave Thea or Digg, we need you…. we love you….” she kissed his head, “You are a good person.”

His body shook against hers, “Something inside me is broken.”

She hugged him tightly, “Anything that’s broken can be mended,” she said it as a promise.

Felicity hated Adrian with every fiber of her being. She couldn’t believe that psycho had done this to Oliver. All she knew in that moment was they needed to take Prometheus out and get some desperately needed help. These were problems they couldn’t ignore.

* * *

Oliver woke up snuggled in Felicity’s arms. He wasn’t sure how long he had been out or how long he had been crying beforehand. What he did know was talking it out had helped. A little. He felt a subtle weight lifted off his chest, but he knew there was a long way to go to feeling like himself again. At least he had Felicity.

There was a part of him that still wanted to free her from his darkness, but he felt guilt, thinking about leaving her, Thea, Digg…. he couldn’t leave them to flounder without him. Okay, they wouldn’t flounder. They were a good team, but that didn’t change the fact that they all needed him in some way, shape, or form. It was nice to be loved, even if he didn’t feel like he deserved it.

He watched Felicity sleep. Neither of them had really slept at all since they left Adrian’s torture chamber. Sleeping from emotional exhaustion didn’t count. To him at least. His eyes moved over her face, her delicate features, and the soft peppering of freckles across her nose and cheeks.

“I can feel you looking at me,” she mumbled without opening her eyes.

He gave a soft smile, “Just counting your freckles.”

“You and those freckles,” a small laugh tumbled from her lips.

He might have been a little obsessed with them, especially on their trip after they left Starling. He felt like it had been eons since he could lie there and enjoy the view. She finally opened her eyes and leaned in a little closer. With only the slightest hesitation, she closed the space between them, kissing him gently. It was nothing more than a sweet peck, but to him it was amazing. He kissed her back just as sweetly.

When she pulled back, she rest her forehead against his, “I’m thinking… a nice walk and maybe some pizza from the place down the street.”

He could see her thinking. Stay out in public where everyone can see them, but also try to live their damn lives to the best of their ability.

It didn’t take them very long to get down to the street. He walked side by side with her, holding her hand. All he wanted was to be able to spend at least an hour with her, eat some good food, and not worry.

The odds were not in his favor.

“Don’t you two make a lovely couple,” Adrian said, walking along side him.

Felicity reached into her bag, but Adrian tutted.

“Everyone is looking for you,” Oliver hissed.

“They haven’t done a very good job of the finding part,” he chuckled.

“What are you doing here?” Felicity asked.

“I thought I would join my favorite pair…. or have you join me,” he said, “Don’t fight. Don’t make a scene. If you do I might have to visit Donna and Thea.”

Oliver clenched his fist. There was nothing he could do but follow orders. He gritted his teeth and wrapped his arm around Felicity, keeping her close. Adrian led them away from the busy street and into a residential area. The longer this went on the more worried he became. He debated on his he could take him down right there on the sidewalk. It would be easy, right?

“Don’t even think about it, Oliver,” Adrian chuckled.

He walked them up to a decrepit house. The door was boarded up, shutters hanging off the windows, some of which were broken, and vines overtaking half the front. Adrian opened the front door and ducked under the two by fours. Warily, he followed right behind Felicity. His nose crinkled a little as he entered the old house, but he was more focused on making sure Felicity was okay.

Dull lights illuminated the rooms ahead of them. It seemed like a place that shouldn’t have any gas or electricity, but then again Adrian was unconventional.

“What are we doing here?” Oliver asked.

Adrian kept walking until they were in the living room.

“Adrian!”

“Calm down,” he said, turning to stand in front of Felicity. He reached towards her, but at the last second, dove into her bag. Adrian pulled out a revolver.

“Felicity,” Oliver said quietly.

“Oh you can’t really blame her,” he looked at the gun before pushing it into Oliver’s hands, “You’re going to shoot me. Right here. Right now. You’re going to kill me in front of her and show her just how much of a monster you really are.”

He swallowed thickly as he looked down at the gun in his hand. Adrian held his hand up in surrender.

“We both know you want to do it,” he continued.

* * *

“Shut up!” Felicity snapped.

This was not how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to have the gun, _she_ was supposed to pull the trigger in his stupid smug face, but Adrian wasn’t done playing his games. There was no way she was going to let Oliver do this. He had been through enough.

“Stop this. You don’t have to do this anymore,” she couldn’t believe she was practically begging.

“Well, he could always take the bullet to his own head,” Adrian mimicked shooting himself with his finger.

“Shut up!” she screamed again.

Without thinking, she reached up and snatched the gun out of Oliver’s hands.

“Felicity-”

“No,” she moved away from him and pointed the gun at Adrian.

“What a turn of events,” he muttered sarcastically.

“Felicity,” Oliver tried again.

“Stop both of you,” tears burned her eyes again.

She was so angry. Why couldn’t she pull the damn trigger? It was aimed right at that smug grin and yet her finger couldn’t press down on the trigger. Both of them talking in her ear and making it that much harder.

“This isn’t you…” Oliver said.

“Let her pull the trigger, she wants to be a twisted, murdering monster just like you.”

“Felicity, please….” he paused, an expression of realization coloring his face, “Don’t shoot.”

“Why?” she demanded.

“There’s a gas leak.”

She immediately stopped and sniffed the air. Felicity had noticed the smell when they came in, but she didn’t think much of it. Now it made sense. Adrian wanted one of them to shoot and take all three of them out.

She dropped the gun, letting it clatter to the floor. Oliver took a few quick steps and nailed Adrian in the face before turning to her and taking her hand. He was trying to give them time to get the hell out of there. The sound of laughing filled her ears as well as the scraping of the gun across the floor. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, Oliver’s hand pushed at her back, trying to help her move faster.

A shot rang out, both the gunfire and the gas igniting drowned out the soft thud of a body dropping to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, the day has come. the conclusion of The White Queen. What started as an angsty oneshot has kind of blown up. I didn’t expect that at all, but I did enjoy writing and expanding on this. I hope everyone is satisfied with the ending.

**Six weeks later**

“How have you been feeling?”

Felicity bit down on her lower lip. She’d had a couple therapy sessions, but she still felt nervous about talking to someone that was basically a stranger. Marianne Willcox was a pleasant person, she was kind, and understanding. The therapist hadn’t pushed her during any of her sessions, but it was the topic which gave Felicity anxiety.

“I’ve been… okay,” she sighed, “I had a dream about him last night.”

“Would you like to elaborate?”

She thought about it for a moment. It would be better for her to open up further about what she was feeling and thinking, but it seemed so hard. She wasn’t spilling any secrets. They weren’t her secrets to tell after all.

Her chest constricted at the thought.

“You don’t have to force yourself, Felicity.”

She let out a shaky breath, “I know,” she tilted her head up to look at Marianne, “It’s just hard… after everything I went through…. _We_ went through… I still think about him every day.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. The night she and Oliver had gone into the house flashed through her mind. The sound of the gunshot rang out only to be drowned out by the woosh of the gas igniting. She had barely registered the body hitting the floor. All she had known was that Oliver’s hand fell away from her back and she was met with the heat of the blaze. The backs of her legs had gotten the worst of it. Her hair had been singed short before she got out the door.

“What are you thinking about?” Marianne asked.

Felicity sighed again and decided to tell her exactly was going through her mind. She spent the next forty-five minutes talking about that night, or trying to as she cried. As much as it sucked to talk about it, she did feel better when it was over. She was tired as all get out, but it seemed worth it to get it off her chest.

With a deep breath, she wiped away her tears and walked out into the waiting room.

“Hey, are you okay?”

She wrapped her arms around Oliver’s waist and buried her face in his chest, “I’m okay,” she breathed in his scent deeply.

Sometimes, she needed to hold him. She needed a reminder that he was still there. The night of the explosion, his hand fell away from her because he was moving to take most of the damage. There was so much fire surrounding them they both got burned, but he took the worst of it. They tumbled out of the house and onto the grass. She hit the ground and he followed. He made sure there wasn’t a single ember on her before bothering to make sure he was okay. Oliver collapsed soon after. The heat and the smoke inhalation had done a number on him. She remembered crawling to him, laying her head on his chest; she listened to him gasp for breath as she sobbed. There was no way for her to know if he would make it.

“I love you, I love you, please don’t leave me,” she had sobbed into his ash covered shirt.

Felicity refused to leave his side even as paramedics came to their aid. She wouldn’t relax until she knew he was okay.

“I’m here, I’m okay,” Oliver whispered into her hair.

“I know…” she breathed, “I know.”

* * *

Adrian Chase was dead, he reminded himself again. Six weeks after his death, he was still worried about Adrian showing up again. Could anyone really blame him with his track record? There were remains found in the house, the SCPD, STAR Labs, and even Felicity had double checked the findings. Prometheus was dead.

He ran his fingers through Felicity’s short hair. She was upset at first, but the flames had only taken a couple inches off.

“Have I told you how much I like your short hair?” he asked.

Felicity snorted, “Only a few times,” she nuzzled her face into his leg and left a gentle kiss, “I’ve been thinking about coloring it.”

“Black?” he asked, hopefully.

She turned her head to roll her eyes at him, “I show you one picture of me in college….” she teased.

“Hey, that was a good look. Questionable fashion choices… but sexy.”

“Mhmm,” she turned again and he went back to stroking her hair, “I was thinking pink… something bright and happy.”

“I like it.”

They were quiet, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. They relaxed in their quiet living room. After they left the hospital, Felicity moved out of the loft and into a smaller apartment. The loft felt tainted. They both knew that Adrian had been in there, the question was how many times. It was something neither of them wanted to think about. He moved in with her because it was too hard to be alone. Their relationship wasn’t one hundred percent fixed, but they were working on it. It had been a strange and hard situation, causing them to skip a few steps in getting back together.

It was decided that they would take time to heal individually and together.

“Oliver?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for not leaving me,” her voice got quieter, “After everything we went through. All of the things that he did to you, I thought…. I really thought I was going to lose you. Not just to him or the fire, but to your own inner demons.”

He stilled his hand and rest it on her shoulder.

“I’m proud of you for going to therapy and seeing a psychiatrist. I see you doing better and it makes me so _happy_ ,” she sniffled.

He felt a few tears spill onto his jeans. It had been hard to start therapy, let alone take medication for his depression, but he was glad that he did. There were obviously things that he couldn’t talk about with his therapist, not until he decided… if he decided to ever come out as the Green Arrow. Still, his therapist helped him through a lot of the Adrian stuff. He was surprised to say the least. But he still had a long way to go.

“I’m proud of you too, you know that?” he said softly.

She lifted her head and sat all the way up.

“You’re the strongest person I know,” he cupped her cheek and wiped away the tears, “I can see you getting better… happier and…” he sighed as he searched for the words.

Sometimes he was better with actions.

Oliver leaned in and kissed her lips gently. She let out a shaky breath before returning the kiss.

“I love you so much,” she whispered.

He kissed her once more, “I love you too.” 

There were still panic attacks and nightmares, so much to work through, but he knew it was just another battle they would fight _together_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments and messages are always appreciated!
> 
> tumblr: felicityollies  
> twitter: gothlicitys


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